Life's Persistent Questions

Why do we care?

The Oakland A's lost again last night. Now they are tied for first place with 5 games to play. I am a pessimist by nature, so I couldn't help but think of the worst for my team. In a way if the team does not make the playoff this season it would be a relief for me. It would be less painful. Think sawing off my left forearm after it got stuck under a ten ton boulder--the kind of pain that means you can go back to living afterward in a relatively short amount of time. This is in contrast to the past two seasons, when the A's charged into the playoffs, full of confidence, only to lose in the ninth innings of two Game 5s of 5-game series. Both times, for at least a month, I stopped watching ESPN on TV, checking ESPN.com on the web, and in general stopped thinking about sports completely. Now that is bad pain--sort of like peeling the skin off your body beginning from the eye lids--it means you can't go back to living the same way ever again.

I'm 27, and I should be too old to feel this way about a bunch of millionaire athletes, many of whom younger than me, playing a game that involves little white balls and wooden blunt instruments that deplete the ashwood and maple forests. So why do I care so much? Why do I identify with the people who wear the yellow and green? After a loss, do they go to bed at night thinking about how the game will effect me and the thousands of others? People say baseball is a metaphor for life, so does that mean I see the players as the protagonists who dare to challenge the mediocrity and randomness of life, thus bringing hope and purpose and meaning to it? Or should I just get a new hobby?

posted by hedgehog @ 1:14 AM